You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning by Celia Rivenbark

Late nights, she'd listen to the feed trucks rattle by on the highway and she'd go to sleep wondering what exotic cities those noisy trucks would be in by morning (Richmond? Atlanta? Charlotte?) Their headlights crawling across the walls of her little pink bedroom at the edge of a soybean field were like constellations pointing the way to a bigger life, a better place, a place where there wasn't so much turkey shit everywhere.Īfter a couple of years of college, Celia went to work for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise.

By age 7, she'd decided to be a newspaper reporter. It was at this laundromat, where a carefully lettered sign reminded customers that management was 'NOT RESONSIBLE' for lost items, that Celia shirked 'resonsibility' her own self and snuck away to read the big, fat Sunday News & Observer out of Raleigh, NC. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister and her daddy rode to the laundromat two miles away to do the weekly wash. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.ĭespite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. The column, “From the Belle Tower” is currently syndicated by McClatchey-Tribune News Services and appears in newspapers across the country.Ĭelia lives in Wilmington, N.C., with her husband and daughter.Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.Ĭelia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her humor blends this country tradition with her love of all things pop culture for a unique take on the ever-changing South.Ī newspaper reporter since age 19, Celia started writing a weekly humor column for the New York Times Regional Newspaper Group in 1993. It’s hard to escape the in-your-face Southern nature of “Bless Your Heart, Tramp”, “We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier”, “Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank,” “Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny With a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits,” “You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning” and “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl.”Ĭelia’s take on humor is the result of growing up in rural Eastern North Carolina listening to, and absorbing, stories, jokes and tall tales at the country store. The names of Celia Rivenbark’s books give you an idea of what to expect when you hear her speak to an audience.

You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning by Celia Rivenbark